








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1499 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1139 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1495 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,341 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmm.. | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | týssy | 48% | 94 |
| #3 | Mylo | 46% | 107 |
| #4 | subu | 45% | 67 |
| #5 | pet femboy | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | subu | 45% | 67 |
| #5 | pet femboy | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | tofu🍓 | 44% | 63 |
| #7 | Stèfàn | 35% | 23 |
| #8 | youtube.com/damlox | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tofu🍓 | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | týssy | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Mylo | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | mmmm.. | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | youtube.com/damlox | 3 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mylo | 200 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | tofu🍓 | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | týssy | 49 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stèfàn | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | subu | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | týssy | +4.97 | 93 | 37 |
| #2 | subu | +0.13 | 72 | 29 |
| #3 | mmmm.. | -0.42 | 84 | 34 |
| #4 | Mylo | -0.51 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | JD | -0.87 | 68 | 66 |





