










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 990 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 299 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 575 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1428 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2544 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,069,518 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | týssy | 53% | 102 |
| #2 | Stèfàn | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | tofu🍓 | 48% | 125 |
| #4 | Mylo | 45% | 266 |
| #5 | subu | 44% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | tofu🍓 | 48% | 125 |
| #4 | Mylo | 45% | 266 |
| #5 | subu | 44% | 247 |
| #6 | 💕Meat Toilet💕 | 42% | 55 |
| #7 | jack | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mylo | 33 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | subu | 22 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | tofu🍓 | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | týssy | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Stèfàn | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mylo | 334 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | tofu🍓 | 115 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Stèfàn | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | subu | 83 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | týssy | 48 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | týssy | +5.58 | 88 | 35 |
| #2 | mmmm.. | +0.94 | 85 | 23 |
| #3 | tofu🍓 | +0.28 | 43 | 42 |
| #4 | jack | +0.05 | 73 | 38 |
| #5 | subu | -0.24 | 73 | 17 |





