








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 697 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1538 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2095 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4007 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2399 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,538,181 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Choppa | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | мчт под нзт | 53% | 53 |
| #3 | wait вiт?! | 48% | 104 |
| #4 | ✝ScripT✝ | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | why|me | 47% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | why|me | 47% | 112 |
| #6 | gaymorit | 44% | 175 |
| #7 | GROWER | 43% | 168 |
| #8 | UnterrDe | 39% | 186 |
| #9 | goddamnduck | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROWER | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | why|me | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | мчт под нзт | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | gaymorit | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | wait вiт?! | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaymorit | 419 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | UnterrDe | 326 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | GROWER | 290 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | why|me | 245 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Young Choppa | 184 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Choppa | +5.59 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | ✝ScripT✝ | +3.95 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | мчт под нзт | +3.17 | 86 | 33 |
| #4 | why|me | +1.90 | 82 | 39 |
| #5 | goddamnduck | +1.14 | 82 | 48 |





