








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1741 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2408 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 920 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,499 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .39 | 58% | 67 |
| #2 | Mindexas | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | n47TimingChain | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | Eusebio | 49% | 151 |
| #5 | Emka | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .39 | 58% | 67 |
| #2 | Mindexas | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | n47TimingChain | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | Eusebio | 49% | 151 |
| #5 | Emka | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eusebio | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | .39 | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Mindexas | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | n47TimingChain | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Emka | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eusebio | 215 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mindexas | 159 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | .39 | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Emka | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | n47TimingChain | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emka | +5.27 | 42 | 71 |
| #2 | Mindexas | +2.80 | 28 | 68 |
| #3 | .39 | +2.69 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | Eusebio | -0.18 | 25 | 56 |
| #5 | SomeOne | -1.45 | 26 | 62 |





