








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2561 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3153 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3702 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4596 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,623 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SomeOne | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | Teslaruris | 49% | 87 |
| #3 | $#NIKo$% | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Mindexas | 46% | 405 |
| #5 | .39 | 44% | 556 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .39 | 50 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Mindexas | 27 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | BUMBUM | 15 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Eusebio | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Emka | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mindexas | 1488 | 0.18 | 35 min |
| #2 | .39 | 1138 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #3 | Eusebio | 441 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | Emka | 330 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Teslaruris | 226 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUMBUM | +4.10 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | Emka | +2.63 | 48 | 66 |
| #3 | .39 | +2.51 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | Teslaruris | +1.82 | 52 | 51 |
| #5 | Mindexas | +1.26 | 29 | 65 |





