








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3534 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5193 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4570 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3312 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,477,639 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | .39 | 48% | 414 |
| #6 | BUMBUM | 47% | 49 |
| #7 | Emka | 46% | 243 |
| #8 | n47TimingChain | 44% | 317 |
| #9 | Inti* | 36% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .39 | 34 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Mindexas | 21 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | n47TimingChain | 19 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Emka | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | SomeOne | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mindexas | 1088 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | .39 | 836 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Emka | 532 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | n47TimingChain | 438 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | SomeOne | 301 | 0.10 | 8 min |





