








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7861 | 43% |
| Smokes | 4407 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4606 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1375 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,732 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 980 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SomeOne | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Teslaruris | 54% | 89 |
| #3 | Eusebio | 50% | 286 |
| #4 | $#NIKo$% | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | .39 | 50% | 517 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | .39 | 50% | 517 |
| #6 | Emka | 48% | 170 |
| #7 | n47TimingChain | 46% | 405 |
| #8 | BUMBUM | 42% | 112 |
| #9 | Inti* | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .39 | 50 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | n47TimingChain | 20 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | BUMBUM | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Eusebio | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Teslaruris | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .39 | 1041 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #2 | n47TimingChain | 506 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | BUMBUM | 399 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Eusebio | 398 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | Emka | 340 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUMBUM | +3.28 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | Teslaruris | +2.43 | 58 | 55 |
| #3 | .39 | +1.91 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | SomeOne | +1.86 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | Emka | +1.75 | 45 | 63 |





