








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,106 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2058 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1174 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1269 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,466 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soppa™˙ᵕ˙ | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | pXtatX | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | M4THI45 | 60% | 112 |
| #4 | Sniperknight | 58% | 115 |
| #5 | twix | 54% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pXtatX | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | M4THI45 | 60% | 112 |
| #4 | Sniperknight | 58% | 115 |
| #5 | twix | 54% | 93 |
| #6 | Luremus | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pXtatX | 34 | 0.0372 |
| #2 | M4THI45 | 17 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | twix | 16 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Luremus | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Sniperknight | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4THI45 | 320 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sniperknight | 277 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | twix | 258 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | pXtatX | 243 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #5 | Luremus | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4THI45 | +1.85 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | CASCADE | +1.81 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | twix | +1.26 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | pXtatX | +1.19 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | soppa™˙ᵕ˙ | +0.86 | 83 | 64 |





