








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4220 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4343 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3707 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3312 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,982,100 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volt | 58% | 67 |
| #2 | Lio | 58% | 86 |
| #3 | Brax. | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Elium945 | 56% | 182 |
| #5 | Globalito | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | _soO | 47% | 86 |
| #10 | Nox | 46% | 72 |
| #11 | Don Jassdecheat | 43% | 53 |
| #12 | Belial | 41% | 29 |
| #13 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 40% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aki | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | _soO | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Elium945 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Lio | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | A.D | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aki | 705 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Elium945 | 470 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | volt | 299 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | _soO | 267 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Lio | 235 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Belial | +2.19 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | Globalito | +1.84 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | volt | +1.83 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | _soO | +1.05 | 83 | 59 |
| #5 | Elium945 | +1.02 | 68 | 57 |





