








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6527 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7068 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4814 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4346 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,211 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autism Awareness™ | 50% | 165 |
| #2 | paulrus | 49% | 148 |
| #3 | Jakethegu | 49% | 216 |
| #4 | Uddercharge | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | BananaFrags | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jakethegu | 49% | 216 |
| #4 | Uddercharge | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | BananaFrags | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | 🐼✯𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔞✯ | 46% | 72 |
| #7 | HunT | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakethegu | 27 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Autism Awareness™ | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 🐼✯𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔞✯ | 10 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | paulrus | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | BananaFrags | 4 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autism Awareness™ | 271 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jakethegu | 245 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | paulrus | 209 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | BananaFrags | 96 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | 🐼✯𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔞✯ | 82 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaFrags | +2.34 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | Jakethegu | +1.64 | 59 | 44 |
| #3 | TuBucK | +0.87 | 72 | 87 |
| #4 | HunT | +0.42 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | paulrus | -0.40 | 56 | 57 |





