








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1459 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1661 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1378 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,260,999 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Avstin | 47% | 95 |
| #7 | Autism Awareness™ | 46% | 291 |
| #8 | 🐼✯𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔞✯ | 46% | 50 |
| #9 | HunT | 44% | 96 |
| #10 | Uddercharge | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuBucK | 667 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | Autism Awareness™ | 461 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | paulrus | 325 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Avstin | 297 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | HunT | 241 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaFrags | +1.58 | 59 | 67 |
| #2 | Jakethegu | +1.45 | 58 | 39 |
| #3 | Avstin | +1.22 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | TuBucK | +0.16 | 67 | 88 |
| #5 | HunT | -0.17 | 83 | 65 |





