








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4134 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4976 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3814 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3400 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,755 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuBucK | 47% | 34 |
| #2 | paulrus | 44% | 41 |
| #3 | Autism Awareness™ | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | Jakethegu | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuBucK | 47% | 34 |
| #2 | paulrus | 44% | 41 |
| #3 | Autism Awareness™ | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | Jakethegu | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuBucK | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Autism Awareness™ | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Jakethegu | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | paulrus | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuBucK | 98 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Autism Awareness™ | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | paulrus | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jakethegu | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakethegu | +1.52 | 59 | 37 |
| #2 | Uddercharge | +0.78 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | TuBucK | +0.00 | 73 | 89 |
| #4 | Autism Awareness™ | -0.07 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | paulrus | -2.35 | 47 | 50 |





