








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2026 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1763 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2024 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2978 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,350 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jakethegu | 46% | 291 |
| #7 | 🐼✯𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔞✯ | 43% | 30 |
| #8 | HunT | 43% | 51 |
| #9 | Uddercharge | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | Avstin | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakethegu | 38 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | TuBucK | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | paulrus | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | BananaFrags | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Uddercharge | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuBucK | 484 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jakethegu | 312 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | paulrus | 301 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | BananaFrags | 125 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | HunT | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakethegu | +1.78 | 60 | 41 |
| #2 | BananaFrags | +1.56 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | HunT | +0.61 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | TuBucK | +0.22 | 68 | 88 |
| #5 | Uddercharge | +0.07 | 65 | 62 |





