








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4146 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4415 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5499 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4152 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,090,936 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EPSTEINI | 67% | 97 |
| #2 | Toro | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | Lyklapési Kúlur og Prik | 64% | 73 |
| #4 | M0rall | 62% | 114 |
| #5 | asicooper98 | 59% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | M0rall | 62% | 114 |
| #5 | asicooper98 | 59% | 149 |
| #6 | VESEN | 54% | 213 |
| #7 | BRJÁLAÐUR | 53% | 189 |
| #8 | Danvoss911™ | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0rall | 16 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | VESEN | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | asicooper98 | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | EPSTEINI | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | BRJÁLAÐUR | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VESEN | 552 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | asicooper98 | 523 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | M0rall | 472 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #4 | BRJÁLAÐUR | 358 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | EPSTEINI | 237 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0rall | +3.93 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | asicooper98 | +3.28 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | »→DuRgUr99←« | +2.14 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Toro | +0.60 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | BRJÁLAÐUR | +0.34 | 60 | 65 |





