








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4248 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2211 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3412 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2835 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,305 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0rall | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | EPSTEINI | 61% | 128 |
| #3 | DAF ツ | 59% | 79 |
| #4 | »→DuRgUr99←« | 59% | 149 |
| #5 | BRJÁLAÐUR | 57% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BRJÁLAÐUR | 57% | 63 |
| #6 | VESEN | 53% | 83 |
| #7 | Hausken | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | Danvoss911™ | 47% | 90 |
| #9 | jonasor18 | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0rall | 9 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | EPSTEINI | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | VESEN | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | DAF ツ | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | »→DuRgUr99←« | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAF ツ | 320 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | EPSTEINI | 259 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | »→DuRgUr99←« | 244 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | VESEN | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | M0rall | 162 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0rall | +3.18 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | asicooper98 | +3.01 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | BRJÁLAÐUR | +1.78 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | »→DuRgUr99←« | +1.56 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | DAF ツ | +0.91 | 75 | 67 |





