








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 88 | 23% |
| Smokes | 61 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 107 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,210 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsunomakura | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ゆかりん | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | goofy ah | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | female boy | 43% | 35 |
| #5 | Big Fella | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kek | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | rrr | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | spank | 25% | 4 |
| #9 | アカリ・ワタナベ | 20% | 15 |
| #10 | Troy McGinn | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | female boy | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Big Fella | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ゆかりん | 2 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | rrr | 2 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | アカリ・ワタナベ | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | female boy | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Big Fella | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | ゆかりん | 61 | 0.40 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kek | 24 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | tsunomakura | 21 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ゆかりん | +5.56 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | female boy | +4.45 | 79 | 31 |
| #3 | goofy ah | +2.68 | 94 | 66 |
| #4 | tsunomakura | +2.07 | 68 | 49 |
| #5 | rrr | +2.01 | 95 | 51 |





