








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1313 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1476 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1524 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1323 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,524 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rogeR[dd] | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | null | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | Fab | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | AMERIKKKAN BADA$$ | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | slipary | 64% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slipary | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | tony | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Dick Stroker | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Norbit | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Fab | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fab | 225 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #2 | slipary | 188 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Norbit | 184 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | tony | 115 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dick Stroker | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |





