










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4061 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3177 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3165 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3409 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,859 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1061 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norbit | 78% | 45 |
| #2 | dou | 77% | 48 |
| #3 | null | 76% | 55 |
| #4 | Jazz | 76% | 45 |
| #5 | AMERIKKKAN BADA$$ | 75% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ftsrellik | 68% | 31 |
| #10 | tony | 66% | 35 |
| #11 | Fab | 65% | 124 |
| #12 | all black attire | 64% | 55 |
| #13 | Mercy | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taine | 8 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Fab | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | dou | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | ftsrellik | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Mercy | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fab | 867 | 0.34 | 20 min |
| #2 | Norbit | 363 | 0.40 | 10 min |
| #3 | AMERIKKKAN BADA$$ | 194 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | all black attire | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jazz | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helix | +5.48 | 97 | 66 |
| #2 | taine | +3.59 | 89 | 66 |
| #3 | slipary | +3.21 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | dou | +2.67 | 84 | 51 |
| #5 | AMERIKKKAN BADA$$ | +1.75 | 90 | 64 |





