








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2319 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2298 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3353 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3205 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,082,047 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slipary | 76% | 55 |
| #2 | all black attire | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | moneybags /w/ | 71% | 49 |
| #4 | Fab | 70% | 27 |
| #5 | rogeR[dd] | 62% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SpittinLlama | 60% | 96 |
| #7 | Hysic | 60% | 100 |
| #8 | tony | 58% | 126 |
| #9 | Insect | 57% | 84 |
| #10 | axn- | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | SpittinLlama | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | rogeR[dd] | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | axn- | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | slipary | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | 266 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | rogeR[dd] | 265 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | moneybags /w/ | 259 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | axn- | 224 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Fab | 205 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | null | +2.83 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | slipary | +2.48 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | rogeR[dd] | +2.00 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | Insect | +1.17 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | Hysic | +0.97 | 73 | 63 |





