








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1921 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 642 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




187 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5548 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3449 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 10569 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 5068 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,543,086 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | butter dog | 452 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | MosMald | 374 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | DumpDaddy | 232 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | h3ndr1x | 222 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | ʟօօȶ | 221 | 0.14 | 5 min |





