








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1013 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 224 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3648 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2493 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5477 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4251 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,609,584 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuSu | 65% | 55 |
| #2 | klaus | 64% | 96 |
| #3 | minipiggu | 62% | 69 |
| #4 | Miuku | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | KenttäLapio | 56% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Miuku | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | KenttäLapio | 56% | 129 |
| #6 | mahtiaasi | 56% | 63 |
| #7 | filipinos22 | 48% | 56 |
| #8 | Rikuuz | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KenttäLapio | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | klaus | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | mahtiaasi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | minipiggu | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Rikuuz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KenttäLapio | 163 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | klaus | 146 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rikuuz | 92 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | minipiggu | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | SuSu | 47 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klaus | +1.96 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | mahtiaasi | +1.39 | 74 | 46 |
| #3 | Ämiksenkuningas | +0.97 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | minipiggu | +0.50 | 78 | 49 |
| #5 | Rikuuz | -0.55 | 52 | 66 |





