








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 448 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1458 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1291 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,882 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomahawkk1 | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | nisse | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Miuku | 64% | 44 |
| #4 | klaus | 57% | 84 |
| #5 | Ämiksenkuningas | 56% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KenttäLapio | 52% | 138 |
| #9 | Rikuuz | 49% | 73 |
| #10 | SuSu | 49% | 53 |
| #11 | Dowsy | 48% | 58 |
| #12 | filipinos22 | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minipiggu | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Rikuuz | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SuSu | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Miuku | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | KenttäLapio | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KenttäLapio | 329 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Rikuuz | 313 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | klaus | 232 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | minipiggu | 172 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ämiksenkuningas | 153 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klaus | +1.83 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | mahtiaasi | +1.73 | 73 | 48 |
| #3 | Ämiksenkuningas | +1.21 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | Tomahawkk1 | +0.64 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | minipiggu | -0.00 | 71 | 55 |





