








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4081 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4096 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4221 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3309 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,953,833 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bazinga | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | trollinger | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | que pasa? | 48% | 118 |
| #4 | SKAGEN | 48% | 210 |
| #5 | -ChrisP- | 47% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ChrisP- | 828 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | SKAGEN | 625 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 466 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | que pasa? | 229 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | el_gringo94 | 174 | 0.12 | 3 min |





