








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 576 matches | ||
| Wingman | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6855 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6386 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5331 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4207 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,000,308 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doge | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 49% | 355 |
| #3 | que pasa? | 49% | 201 |
| #4 | Jo | LemonGaming | 47% | 289 |
| #5 | SKAGEN | 46% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doge | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 49% | 355 |
| #3 | que pasa? | 49% | 201 |
| #4 | Jo | LemonGaming | 47% | 289 |
| #5 | SKAGEN | 46% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 23 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | SKAGEN | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | que pasa? | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Jo | LemonGaming | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Doge | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 863 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | SKAGEN | 745 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | Jo | LemonGaming | 565 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | que pasa? | 389 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | Doge | 182 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | +0.89 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | Doge | +0.52 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | que pasa? | +0.07 | 51 | 60 |
| #4 | Jo | LemonGaming | +0.01 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | -ChrisP- | -0.28 | 72 | 63 |





