








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3964 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3428 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 755 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,317 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bazinga | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | kamzik | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | que pasa? | 53% | 131 |
| #4 | Doge | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | Jo | LemonGaming | 48% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jo | LemonGaming | 48% | 210 |
| #6 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 46% | 141 |
| #7 | -ChrisP- | 46% | 291 |
| #8 | Pretendinger | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | el_gringo94 | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | -ChrisP- | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Jo | LemonGaming | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | que pasa? | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Doge | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ChrisP- | 691 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jo | LemonGaming | 411 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 387 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | que pasa? | 228 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Doge | 130 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kamzik | +2.27 | 82 | 47 |
| #2 | bazinga | +1.13 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | +1.06 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | Jo | LemonGaming | +0.43 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | que pasa? | +0.36 | 50 | 61 |





