








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 696 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 592 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4545 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4985 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7195 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1754 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,017,017 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 51% | 172 |
| #4 | Gandon | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | -ChrisP- | 49% | 201 |
| #6 | Doge | 49% | 117 |
| #7 | Jo | LemonGaming | 48% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandon | 9 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | SKAGEN | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Doge | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | -ChrisP- | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ChrisP- | 603 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | ✪ Kaiman Abknalla | 557 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | SKAGEN | 399 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Doge | 388 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | Jo | LemonGaming | 259 | 0.10 | 8 min |





