








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 979 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2847 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3604 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3459 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2480 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,755 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ja | 88% | 24 |
| #2 | Stea1thy | 78% | 142 |
| #3 | ✪ LaQuan | 78% | 32 |
| #4 | Albatraoz | 76% | 202 |
| #5 | GOLDENDICKLETMAN | 73% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | cheyney | 64% | 25 |
| #14 | Raunny | 64% | 47 |
| #15 | Andylovesmangos | 63% | 48 |
| #16 | abj | 61% | 59 |
| #17 | Dpunch26 | 56% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albatraoz | 41 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | wEATh | 28 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | 24 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Andylovesmangos | 12 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | Stea1thy | 10 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stea1thy | 306 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | 303 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | wEATh | 287 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Raunny | 262 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | Andylovesmangos | 242 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | +5.19 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | Albatraoz | +3.42 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | +1.71 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | ja | +1.41 | 74 | 46 |
| #5 | Stea1thy | +1.32 | 74 | 59 |





