








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




136 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3705 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5446 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6871 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4509 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,389,558 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 636 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | 76% | 202 |
| #2 | ja | 75% | 130 |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | 69% | 374 |
| #4 | King Balls II | 68% | 122 |
| #5 | cheyney | 68% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Dpunch26 | 59% | 68 |
| #10 | GOLDENDICKLETMAN | 56% | 208 |
| #11 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 56% | 171 |
| #12 | buying titan medusa | 55% | 102 |
| #13 | Guinehhh | 52% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wEATh | 120 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | 92 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Stea1thy | 53 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ✪ LaQuan | 25 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | King Balls II | 23 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stea1thy | 1733 | 0.12 | 44 min |
| #2 | wEATh | 1365 | 0.11 | 36 min |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | 1196 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #4 | ✪ LaQuan | 484 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Helen Keller | 460 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | +5.51 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | Albatraoz | +4.31 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | +2.78 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | cheyney | +1.80 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | Stea1thy | +1.58 | 75 | 63 |





