








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




149 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6499 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5638 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3772 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4734 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,434,013 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1678 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | 72% | 151 |
| #2 | ja | 69% | 124 |
| #3 | Albatraoz | 65% | 635 |
| #4 | kIMSURRO | 65% | 344 |
| #5 | Stea1thy | 64% | 573 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | cheyney | 57% | 80 |
| #9 | GOLDENDICKLETMAN | 55% | 112 |
| #10 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 54% | 168 |
| #11 | buying titan medusa | 50% | 72 |
| #12 | Guinehhh | 50% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albatraoz | 89 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | 82 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Stea1thy | 50 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | King Balls II | 21 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | ✪ LaQuan | 18 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stea1thy | 1408 | 0.12 | 38 min |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | 1174 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #3 | Albatraoz | 767 | 0.06 | 24 min |
| #4 | ✪ LaQuan | 383 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 369 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | +4.86 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | Albatraoz | +3.93 | 86 | 52 |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | +3.08 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | wEATh | +1.46 | 84 | 56 |
| #5 | Stea1thy | +1.36 | 76 | 63 |





