








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1754 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




179 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8063 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6995 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4993 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5099 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,117,210 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | 73% | 106 |
| #2 | Albatraoz | 69% | 374 |
| #3 | Stea1thy | 67% | 338 |
| #4 | wEATh | 65% | 344 |
| #5 | GOLDENDICKLETMAN | 61% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wEATh | 76 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Albatraoz | 57 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | ja | 36 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | King Balls II | 34 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | MLGLuigi64 | 34 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 922 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Stea1thy | 835 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | ja | 743 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | wEATh | 741 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #5 | Albatraoz | 472 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | +4.87 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | +4.35 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Albatraoz | +3.48 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | ja | +1.82 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | cheyney | +1.56 | 83 | 59 |





