








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1812 | 28% |
| Smokes | 996 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1915 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1837 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,078 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | cheyney | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | Albatraoz | 52% | 242 |
| #4 | Stea1thy | 52% | 281 |
| #5 | wEATh | 50% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | kIMSURRO | 48% | 44 |
| #7 | buying titan medusa | 45% | 56 |
| #8 | ✪ LaQuan | 42% | 86 |
| #9 | GOLDENDICKLETMAN | 38% | 78 |
| #10 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albatraoz | 33 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | wEATh | 25 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Stea1thy | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ✪ LaQuan | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Helen Keller | 8 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stea1thy | 754 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | wEATh | 391 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Albatraoz | 290 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✪ LaQuan | 163 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | kIMSURRO | 163 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | +6.34 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | Albatraoz | +5.00 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | +2.76 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | Stea1thy | +1.95 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | wEATh | +1.66 | 85 | 58 |





