








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1599 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1640 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,144 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c6x | 81% | 37 |
| #2 | -Mat_ | 80% | 25 |
| #3 | DeathB1ade | 79% | 61 |
| #4 | thok | 72% | 57 |
| #5 | Samsung | 69% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nazz | 64% | 11 |
| #8 | l1psl4p | 61% | 31 |
| #9 | shields | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | catfood | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | Hamshanks | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thok | 23 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | DeathB1ade | 20 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | l1psl4p | 12 | 0.0193 |
| #4 | catfood | 12 | 0.0331 |
| #5 | c6x | 7 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathB1ade | 174 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | l1psl4p | 118 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | thok | 101 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | -Mat_ | 94 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hamshanks | 91 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaP | +2.58 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | -Mat_ | +2.50 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Nazz | +2.36 | 83 | 48 |
| #4 | c6x | +2.18 | 46 | 44 |
| #5 | DeathB1ade | +1.27 | 84 | 58 |





