








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1431 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1872 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1451 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,148 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1nlay | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | whiteBOY69 | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Turteh | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | p0nz | 58% | 108 |
| #5 | Gizelli | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kmt | 53% | 51 |
| #8 | Aleybongo | 53% | 36 |
| #9 | sn0w | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Eggman23 | 47% | 19 |
| #11 | Λύπη | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | housecat | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Gizelli | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | p0nz | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Turteh | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Kmt | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0nz | 474 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | housecat | 424 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Gizelli | 220 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kmt | 203 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Turteh | 144 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jwma | +2.08 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | Gizelli | +1.68 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | Turteh | +0.24 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | p0nz | +0.23 | 75 | 76 |
| #5 | Eggman23 | -0.40 | 71 | 67 |





