








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 726 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 497 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2813 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3014 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2869 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,816,218 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 812 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ry505 | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | quzno | 50% | 177 |
| #3 | MACHOKE | 49% | 155 |
| #4 | Pete Sampras | 48% | 481 |
| #5 | Nooby Booby | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pete Sampras | 22 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | quzno | 22 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | da ass | 12 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | MACHOKE | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | dozer_____davee | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pete Sampras | 888 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | MACHOKE | 815 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #3 | quzno | 631 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | Mrguy | 392 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nooby Booby | 203 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nooby Booby | +2.35 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | quzno | +0.88 | 60 | 65 |
| #3 | Malt Liquor Bandit | +0.73 | 66 | 47 |
| #4 | dozer_____davee | +0.20 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | Ry505 | +0.18 | 62 | 40 |





