








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4320 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4350 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3547 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2921 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,590,563 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosi | 71% | 38 |
| #2 | ✪-Swag | 70% | 47 |
| #3 | Insight | 58% | 93 |
| #4 | Blunk | 54% | 123 |
| #5 | OpraZ | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sʍiℓy | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | newtel | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Insight | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Metr1ckZ | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | ✪-Swag | 8 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sʍiℓy | 1043 | 0.23 | 31 min |
| #2 | Phûûcc✔ | 924 | 0.26 | 27 min |
| #3 | Blunk | 472 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | xpRim | 358 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #5 | OpraZ | 317 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sʍiℓy | +4.44 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪-Swag | +4.38 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | xIIK 侍 | +4.03 | 90 | 50 |
| #4 | newtel | +3.19 | 91 | 43 |
| #5 | SMECTA | +3.03 | 93 | 55 |





