








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 853 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5781 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5257 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2944 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3723 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,578 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1392 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xpRim | 70% | 37 |
| #2 | Tosi | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | ✪-Swag | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | xIIK 侍 | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | Blunk | 60% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | LGDS | 52% | 231 |
| #17 | Skwi | 51% | 41 |
| #18 | newtel | 51% | 160 |
| #19 | Ziva | 48% | 54 |
| #20 | ✪ $ilvesteR | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LGDS | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | newtel | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Metr1ckZ | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | ✪-Swag | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Tosi | 5 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sʍiℓy | +4.40 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪-Swag | +3.93 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | xIIK 侍 | +2.60 | 88 | 41 |
| #4 | SMECTA | +1.47 | 88 | 56 |
| #5 | newtel | +1.40 | 88 | 45 |





