








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 280 | 10% |
| Smokes | 586 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1029 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 935 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,948 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sail | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | melon | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | uncereal | 51% | 113 |
| #4 | Pwniez | 50% | 123 |
| #5 | Cubostar | 48% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cubostar | 48% | 89 |
| #6 | smile :D | 47% | 130 |
| #7 | Mung | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | NickZ | 40% | 42 |
| #9 | Solome6 | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncereal | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | smile :D | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Pwniez | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | NickZ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | melon | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncereal | 480 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Pwniez | 312 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | smile :D | 298 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | NickZ | 140 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cubostar | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncereal | +3.01 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Pwniez | +2.96 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | Sail | +2.80 | 80 | 51 |
| #4 | melon | +2.01 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | Solome6 | +1.24 | 76 | 56 |





