








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 930 | 34% |
| Smokes | 544 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 471 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,481 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncereal | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | NickZ | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Pwniez | 55% | 76 |
| #4 | Sail | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Kr0no | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sail | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Kr0no | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | smile :D | 52% | 85 |
| #7 | Solome6 | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | Cubostar | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pwniez | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | smile :D | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Kr0no | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | uncereal | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncereal | 318 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | smile :D | 194 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pwniez | 181 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cubostar | 109 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | NickZ | 96 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pwniez | +2.00 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | uncereal | +0.87 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Solome6 | +0.56 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | NickZ | +0.25 | 51 | 63 |
| #5 | melon | +0.22 | 75 | 58 |





