








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6971 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3194 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3764 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2618 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,007,285 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | † Syrn | 58% | 105 |
| #13 | MZW | 53% | 188 |
| #14 | Efren | 50% | 90 |
| #15 | Darknessx❤소녀시대 | 49% | 89 |
| #16 | theeBuffalo | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunzi | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Major_Waddles | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | ⠁⠊⠍ | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Treaux_ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | MZW | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunzi | 930 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | Treaux_ | 568 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Efren | 565 | 0.31 | 16 min |
| #4 | 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | ⠁⠊⠍ | 351 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | † Syrn | 346 | 0.16 | 7 min |





