








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5398 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7573 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11026 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 5244 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,391,124 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | J4ckyD | 53% | 188 |
| #13 | Darknessx❤소녀시대 | 49% | 111 |
| #14 | Efren | 46% | 87 |
| #15 | voke | 46% | 83 |
| #16 | theeBuffalo | 41% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Major_Waddles | 19 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Bunzi | 14 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | saiyo | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Treaux_ | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | † Syrn | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunzi | 1388 | 0.14 | 37 min |
| #2 | Major_Waddles | 1263 | 0.09 | 29 min |
| #3 | Treaux_ | 679 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #4 | J4ckyD | 624 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #5 | † Syrn | 588 | 0.15 | 14 min |





