








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1160 | 41% |
| Smokes | 619 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 388 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 641 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,016 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | divs2018 | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | anterior deltoid | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | Kitsune# | 67% | 42 |
| #4 | benito | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | warn | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Onii-Chan from Canada | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | testicular torsion | 46% | 24 |
| #11 | Le Roi d'Afrique | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | 2k | 38% | 24 |
| #13 | yung shush | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anterior deltoid | 6 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | ^mt | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | 2k | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | testicular torsion | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | yung shush | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^mt | 217 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kitsune# | 192 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | divs2018 | 153 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | mob | 152 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | benito | 132 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune# | +2.47 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | warn | +1.90 | 88 | 34 |
| #3 | benito | +1.84 | 70 | 75 |
| #4 | anterior deltoid | +1.30 | 85 | 52 |
| #5 | Onii-Chan from Canada | +1.28 | 80 | 63 |





