








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1928 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2291 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1639 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1816 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,786 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | warn | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | Kitsune# | 62% | 117 |
| #3 | anterior deltoid | 61% | 119 |
| #4 | Psychic Kitten! | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | divs2018 | 57% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | benito | 48% | 58 |
| #11 | 2k | 48% | 61 |
| #12 | :3 | 46% | 13 |
| #13 | yung shush | 39% | 31 |
| #14 | Divine | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anterior deltoid | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | 2k | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | conesack | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Kitsune# | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | divs2018 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | divs2018 | 602 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kitsune# | 577 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | JM | 370 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | anterior deltoid | 339 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | mob | 319 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune# | +2.70 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | benito | +0.91 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | ^mt | +0.80 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | anterior deltoid | +0.59 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | Psychic Kitten! | +0.43 | 83 | 36 |





