








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1239 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1899 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1497 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,810 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puljujärvi | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Balzu | 67% | 43 |
| #3 | jutku | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | prankster | 59% | 34 |
| #5 | daco | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KooÄs | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | magnesium | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | .-- . .- ... . .-.. | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Balzu | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ǝʞʞɒ | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KooÄs | 378 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | prankster | 242 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #3 | Balzu | 153 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | magnesium | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | silenzio | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puljujärvi | +4.59 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | Balzu | +4.45 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | silenzio | +3.07 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | ǝʞʞɒ | +2.06 | 54 | 54 |
| #5 | KooÄs | +0.57 | 64 | 74 |





