








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2870 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2350 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2243 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2346 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,626 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shakkikerhon Puheenjohtaja | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Balzu | 61% | 51 |
| #3 | prankster | 55% | 74 |
| #4 | silenzio | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | ǝʞʞɒ | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Puljujärvi | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | .-- . .- ... . .-.. | 45% | 86 |
| #12 | LΔLDØ | 33% | 15 |
| #13 | jutku | 33% | 30 |
| #14 | ällö pulu | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magnesium | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | .-- . .- ... . .-.. | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Balzu | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ǝʞʞɒ | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | silenzio | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prankster | 549 | 0.36 | 12 min |
| #2 | magnesium | 247 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Balzu | 236 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Peksu | 113 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | silenzio | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silenzio | +3.33 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Balzu | +2.25 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | Shakkikerhon Puheenjohtaja | +1.39 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | KooÄs | +0.63 | 63 | 73 |
| #5 | ǝʞʞɒ | +0.55 | 52 | 54 |





