








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 156 | 9% |
| Smokes | 429 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 564 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 661 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,592 of utility $301 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nano | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Shakkikerhon Puheenjohtaja | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | daco | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Balzu | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | prankster | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KooÄs | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | magnesium | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | silenzio | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ǝʞʞɒ | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | prankster | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KooÄs | 430 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | prankster | 423 | 0.37 | 9 min |
| #3 | magnesium | 164 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Balzu | 127 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | silenzio | 92 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silenzio | +3.49 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Balzu | +2.43 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | ǝʞʞɒ | +0.74 | 49 | 65 |
| #4 | KooÄs | +0.38 | 63 | 75 |
| #5 | prankster | -0.19 | 64 | 66 |





