








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 825 | 28% |
| Smokes | 427 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 801 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,259 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuck | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Downfall | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | knoK | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | knad1a | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Pooky | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | knad1a | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Pooky | 42% | 64 |
| #6 | Doyl | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | khy | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | Nep | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooky | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Cuck | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | knoK | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Nep | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Doyl | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooky | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cuck | 96 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | knoK | 93 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Downfall | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Doyl | 34 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knoK | +3.59 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | khy | +3.05 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | Cuck | +2.80 | 78 | 77 |
| #4 | Doyl | +0.48 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | Pooky | +0.22 | 77 | 68 |





