








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 578 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1064 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1285 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,316 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyra | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | knoK | 56% | 101 |
| #3 | Pooky | 54% | 153 |
| #4 | Demo | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | herb | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | herb | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | Doyl | 51% | 87 |
| #7 | khy | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | Cuck | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Nep | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooky | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | knoK | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Doyl | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Cuck | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Demo | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooky | 496 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | knoK | 381 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Doyl | 182 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Demo | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cuck | 84 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuck | +4.87 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | khy | +3.04 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | knoK | +2.59 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Doyl | +2.03 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Pyra | +0.67 | 54 | 63 |





