








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 532 matches | ||
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4759 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5579 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7246 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7246 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,834,456 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnsonDieYoung | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | n1kster | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | Covie | 57% | 127 |
| #4 | lawz | 56% | 102 |
| #5 | knoK | 52% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ryder5k | 51% | 47 |
| #7 | Demo | 51% | 73 |
| #8 | Downfall | 51% | 87 |
| #9 | Pooky | 51% | 451 |
| #10 | khy | 50% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooky | 28 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | knoK | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Demo | 12 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | lawz | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Covie | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooky | 1409 | 0.15 | 36 min |
| #2 | knoK | 860 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #3 | lawz | 571 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #4 | Covie | 256 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ryder5k | 226 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | khy | +2.11 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Ryder5k | +1.80 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | knoK | +1.44 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | Doyl | +1.25 | 77 | 57 |
| #5 | Covie | +1.24 | 79 | 63 |





