








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7419 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6003 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8178 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5917 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,863,271 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spike | 57% | 103 |
| #2 | Doug | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Zaxl | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | zap | 53% | 70 |
| #5 | nip | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4rver | SELLING SKINS | 54 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | frog | 23 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Spike | 16 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Riley Reid | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Gnome Sayin | 11 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnome Sayin | 1149 | 0.36 | 30 min |
| #2 | Riley Reid | 794 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | C4rver | SELLING SKINS | 551 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | Spike | 480 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | nip | 281 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaxl | +2.32 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | Gnome Sayin | +1.94 | 62 | 74 |
| #3 | Spike | +1.73 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | SilentBang | +1.09 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | Doug | +0.88 | 54 | 75 |





