








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2398 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2046 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1565 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2047 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,986 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Bait | 63% | 112 |
| #2 | fucking retard idiot | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Sizzle | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | young buck | 58% | 173 |
| #5 | RyzoH | 58% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fucking retard idiot | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Sizzle | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | young buck | 58% | 173 |
| #5 | RyzoH | 58% | 113 |
| #6 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | young buck | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | El Bait | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | RyzoH | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | fucking retard idiot | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | young buck | 660 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | RyzoH | 396 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | El Bait | 250 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | 170 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | fucking retard idiot | 102 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heartless2k | +1.80 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | El Bait | +1.78 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | fucking retard idiot | +0.38 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | Limbs <Bez Bólu> | +0.25 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | RyzoH | +0.19 | 82 | 72 |





